I have nothing but sympathy for your situation, I probably have no advice in the world that could help you heal after a traumatic situation. But what I can say is that, Iām glad that person isnāt a part of your life anymore. What she did to you was awful and she should be ashamed of herself, itās deplorable to read how many boundaries she violated. Despite this however, youāre still standing and Iām happy to see that you arenāt blaming yourself for the toxicity of another person. You deserve better. I hope one day you find a relationship (whether it be platonic or not) that gives you happiness again <3
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iām coming to terms with the idea that my 5 year previous relationship was for the most part never a relationship. i was a care taker for someone who refused to seek help and used me in the process. i hope you continue to recover and continue to share the wonderful person you are with us on the forums. best of luck
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Thankfully, Iām doing much better in the friend department these days.
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any tips how to do that :(
[mumble grumble]
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Hey, havenāt been online much lately, just catching up on Bandcamp Friday from the other week New Music Friday #4
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Taking an Internet Walk - This is such an guide/resource!
Kedi is a lovely movie, I should see if I can rent it. Its been awhile.
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Changed my Traveller RPG campaign blog to a different theme and modified it for properly underlined and colored links. I loved the old theme, but it was hard to read.
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I wrote about switching to Purelymail as my main email service provider, and cleaning up my online accounts by closing and deleting accounts I donāt use or need any more:
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i talk about getting used to happiness again after not knowing it for so long. and what i suspect could be a bit of survivorās guilt
cw: mental health surrounding the topic of ending my life
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Itās good to see youāve realized the foundation of happiness in your life, Emma. The hardest part is fighting to see the path ahead full of potential, but when you see it you canāt unsee it and thatās a great thing.
Thereās this popular meme going around on Tumblr where someone will post about some small joy in their life and punctuate it with ānever kill yourself.ā I love it, and your blog post has a similar energy.
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Finally added the blogpost which explains what I actually study for me PhD :D
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Very cool!! I got to level four but level five went over my head ^^; If you ever were to make a more indepth explanation between four and five I would definitely be interested in reading it!
How did you get into that field by the way? Were you always interested in physics and light, or was it a less straight forward path?
This is awesome! I love the way you split this up into tiers of explanation,. It helped me better understand the tier that came next in line. Finding a faster and easier way to talk to astronauts in earthās orbit and beyond sounds super cool. Also not to be a āthis is just like sci-fiā guy, but this makes me think of the ansible (an important kind of radio that can communicate faster than light speed) from Le Guinās Hainish Cycle novel series. Even though lasers very obviously go only as fast as light, I am just struck by how important fast and easy communication can be, especially in space, and that there are people working on making it faster.
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Thanks! Iām glad you enjoyed it. I am presenting at a conference in a months time and plan on writing a general audience version of it shortly after, which should bridge that 4 to 5 gap 
As for how I got into this kind of thing. I started off with an undergrad in Physics, and the first job I found after was in optical instrumentation. This kind of clicked and I just kept chasing optics/photonics work
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Glad you liked it! While talking about SciFi, I wrote something on the topic a little while back about another possible explaination for the Fermi Paradox that turned up in a astronomy paper a few months ago. Not quite about FTL comms, but about Alien Quantum Comms
The Tl; Dr is that it is possible that sufficiently advanced alien societies prefer to use Quantum Communication Systems to communicate, and since we do not have telescopes large enough to detect these signal, that is why the universe seems so quiet.
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My personal answer to the Fermi paradox is both cynical and optimistic. They see how poorly we treat ourselves, each other, other life on this planet, and the planet itself. Theyāre waiting for us to get our shit together before permitting first contact.
I remember hearing about this! I think this is a neat theory and evokes for me the feeling of being a toddler looking up at a pair of adults talking to each other and desperately trying to join in but only being ignored.
I imagine making a telescope 100 km in size would require cratering a small planet or a natural satellite without an atmosphere 
Iām having more sci-fi thoughts, followed by socioeconomic thoughts.
Itās super fun to think about!
BTW I took the time to look through your Earthshine art, and it has a beautiful solar-punk kinda vibe to to it. (I havenāt had a chance to read the story yet so who knows if that is a correct feeling lol). It kind of reminded me of the game Universe for Sale.
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Thanks for taking a gander at my art! Earthshine definitely has a recurring āsolarā theme, but itās not quite as optimistic as solar-punk, haha. I also just finished the rewrite of the first book, so soon people will be able to read a more cohesive version of this story than the first version I have up on its site.
Universe for Sale looks neat! And itās available on Mac so Iāll be adding it to my wishlist 