I feel like itās popular to hate the internet now.
What do I mean by popular? Iām using it in a very specific way. Itās related to commodification, monetization, and, yes, opportunities.
Itās a different kind of hate from the Luddites, who hate exploitation more than technology. Itās a brand kind of hate. Itās trendy, laced with all kinds of brand accounts suddenly jumping on the Letās hate the internet bandwagon, but with every hate, thereās an opportunity to boost ones income with something that appears to be counter culture but is just another drop in the popular bucket.
Iāve thought about writing something about this kind of thing myselfā¦ I remember being kind of dismayed to see that episode title/description when I last checked the feed for Tech Wonāt Save Us, and so Iām glad someoneās pushing back against that kind of thing.
(I want to reserve judgement about the episode itself, since I donāt want to take another personās summary at face value, but the general idea is one Iāve encountered before.)
Maybe Iāll get into digging into this more one day, but right now Iām thinking the particular brand of internet hate that Robert describes is, in a way, linked to aesthetics of minimalism, which are linked to socioeconomic class. Itās not just trendy; itās classy, in the way of overly clean kitchens and pricey dietary supplements. When people talk about a ādigital detox,ā there seems to be less of a throughline of anticapitalist critique and more of a relationship to the physical health trend talk of ādetoxā and ācleanse,ā with all of its implications of personal purification.
I donāt trust it. And like Robert, I donāt trust its resigned conviction that the intrusive exploitative malignant corporate web is all the web can ever be.
Iām about to give it a listen and appreciated Sightless Scribblesā post. I like this idea of a new kind of a tech literacy and how frustrating it is that people donāt click links for sources when they are clearly, boldly handed them. That itās Web 2.0 or detox. I also appreciate Unplatform as a really good starting point for the uninitiated.
The ādetoxā and ācleanseā critiques always rattle me, especially when they come from the fitness/wellness world. So do most ātech addictionā framings as a person in substance use recovery who does struggle with compulsive internet use.
My own website might lean heavily into the āplain textā aesthetic, but thatās because Iām not a visual artist, let alone a āvisual thinkerā. Iām a writer and a programmer; I think in plain text (and I dream in infrared) so my approach to web design reflects that. Also, I want my site to work consistently whether youāre using Lynx on dialup, a mobile browser with a throttled connection, or Firefox on a gigabit connection.
But I also donāt have much patience for needless asceticism of the sort that people constantly prating about ādopamineā display, either. They talk about the pernicious influence of their smartphones the way Iāve seen some fundamentalists talk about the influence of Satan in secular culture. They strike me as avoidant sorts with a mostly external locus of control, as if they have little sense of personal agency or faith in themselves. I canāt help but wonder if theyāve ever even tried to cultivate their own strength.
Nor can I help but wonder who such people are trying to impress with their determination to conflate purity with virtue. They donāt seem to understand that you canāt unring the bell. The world has moved on, we are not who we once were, we can never be that again, and we must decide for ourselves who we want to become.
I also suspect that many of those pushing Stoicism as the āanswer to everythingā might be better served by existentialism, and perhaps the Romantic Satanism of Milton, Byron, Goethe, and Shelley. Clinging to innocence or lamenting its loss is not a good look.
This is interesting. I just finished the episode that inspired this post and the way she manages her smartphone is exactly how I have to manage mine - almost no apps. I donāt even have a web browser on my phone. Calls, texts, maps.
I tried to cultivate my own strength to cut back smartphone use in the way I tried to cut back drinking, and the limits of willpower were the same for me. Maybe it is a weakness, a ādefect of characterā (ugh AA speak), but itās also me and my reptile brain up against billionaire-owned apps working every trick in the book to outrun that limited amount of willpower. I think all people can cultivate more willpower in their lives, but I do think itās a limited resource you have to plan around.
But I agree - the bell canāt be unrung, purity is not virtue, etc etc. The offline life is not the only way to escape Web 2.0 capture and so much is about the aesthetics. I think Stoicism has some benefits to many people but the word itself has become a red flag for me, fair or not, because of how it fits into optimization culture
In all honesty, I do similar things with my phone but for different reasons. I donāt have a lot of apps on my phone either.
- I have my bankās app in case somebody sends me a check or money order.
- I have Signal installed because I donāt trust Appleās messages app for anything more sensitive than sending pictures of our cats to my wife (if, for example, I catch them curled up together in the windowsill).
- I have three different multi-factor authentication apps. Two are them are for my day job because my employer canāt seem to standardize on either RSA or Microsoft Authenticator (IDGAF which, just pick one, dammit!). I have a third for my own use, FreeOTP, because Iām not mixing my accounts with accounts from work.
Other than these apps, I donāt have anything but the default apps on my phone, and almost none of them are on my home screen because I donāt use them.
But social media? Hell, no. Likewise the web and games. Not because Iām worried about ādopamine addictionā. Not because Iām worried about āmisinformationā. But because smartphones are as shitty a form factor for accessing the internet as they are for gaming, unless you want to end up with RSI and chronic eyestrain from tapping away at a tiny screen while squinting at it.
If I want to get on the internet, Iāll use a real computer (with a keyboard and trackball) that runs GNU/Linux, isnāt phoning home to Redmond or Cupertino, and is under my exclusive control.
Also, Iāve taken to not carrying my phone with me when I go out. It stays in my study, in airplane mode and muted, unless I need to call or text somebody. Itās not like I have friends, so the only people trying to reach me are strangers who want something from me, and Iām happy to ignore them and delete their texts and voicemails untouched.
two mfa apps??? >:( and same, I have signal too - but because my spouse is trans it just feels safer to have all of our convos there.
Three, actually. Like I said, RSA and MS Authenticator are there because neither my employer nor their clients can seem to consistently use one or the other.
FreeOTP is for my own use, since I have MFA enabled for Nearly Free Speech, Sourcehut, and Final Fantasy XIV, among other things.
My spouse isnāt trans, but sheās a legal immigrant and a permanent resident. We had to submit printouts of our emails and IMs to Uncle Sam to prove that our marriage wasnāt a con, and many of them werenāt just intimate but spicy, but now that weāve done that we donāt want Uncle Sam being a third wheel when we sext each other.
Besides, neither smartphones nor Signal were a thing in the early 2000s when we were courting. Nor were dating apps, now that I think of it; we had met on a forum and started talking āprivatelyā by email and AIM.
As someone with chronic migraines, I agree with this heavily. Especially the eye strain.
As someone with back/neck issues who can only sit as his desk for so long before laying down in bed, Iām also forced to still use the damn thing if I want to chat on a forum and lay down. Itās an accessibility device for me, and like most accessibility devices its mishandled greatly (in terms of privacy and ownership; I donāt think any device can really escape the RSI issues. E-Ink screens could help with eyestrain some, but would limit their usability by a lot)
This is a really interesting way of putting it that I havenāt thought about before (and thank you for the link, the article is really thought provoking too!!!)ā¦ On one hand Iām glad that ādetoxing from [smartphone/social media/the internet]ā is trendy now, because it means that āaverageā people are thinking critically about their usage of technology, which is something i think is important even if you dont want to go full anti-tech.
I love this corner of the internet weāve carved out over here at the cafe, and I love the greater āindie/small/niche/personal-webā community too. it really revitalized my love for the internet and my excitement at the possibilities that an instant worldwide network of information and connections can offer!
Iām trying to use my smartphone less, scroll on tumblr less, rely less on deeply ingrained habits of internet usage that i know have done me more harm than good, but i think the idea that āthe internet sucksā is justā¦ close minded? like, the internet is everywhere. the internet is full of people from all over the world in all sorts of situations. its like when people say āhumans suckā or āthe world sucksā. like damn, maybe for you! personally i love my friends and i just ate delicious dumplings and im reading really fascinating articles and building a cute website!
Iād been wondering about that as well.
Thanks for putting this into words. Had a talk with a friend recently about my socmed ādetoxā that has been somewhat going on for 2 years now (āsomewhatā because I might occasionally lurk an artistās profile, or look on å°ēŗ¢ä¹¦ for nail inspo. Iām not completely cut off from socmed, just that itās become a means to an end rather than something i passively use in my daily life).
She brought up that whether we like it or not socmed like instagram IS really integrated in our social lives now, which is also true to a degree i think. I definitely lose out on the opportunity to laugh with my friends over, like, a funny tiktok or sth. (Itās basically routine now for my friends to show tiktoks theyve saved to specifically show me when we meet physically lol). I tell myself that my bond with my friends are strong enough to not rely on socmed content, but the hiccups r still there.
Sorry for the long context, but basically thatās what came to mind when you mentioned that we canāt āunring the bellā. Itās what I feel about my whole journey of abandoning socmed as well. I feel people will try to sell you the idea that deleting socmed will cure your adhd tiktok brain and will reset your mental state etc etc which is definitely not true. Iām not necessarily happier without social media, and Iām not a different person than I was with it. The only thing Iāve lost is my tolerance for mindless scrolling lol.
I think thatās very cute actually. I may be a Tiktok hater but the practice of deliberately setting aside things to share in-person and getting to experience a friendās reaction in real timeā¦ I think thatās pretty good.
I feel some of this as well. I own a small business and while my energy has gone into creating an email list vs the instagram game, I canāt afford to delete it and have to use it once a month or so. Then I see my IRL friends posting, and I do genuinely miss that. I am trying to ātrainā my out of town friends to text me photos of their babies and what not.
Itās so interesting/terrible that all the platforms meant to strengthen IRL connection (meta products mostly) are now all about funneling you into following influencers and not showing you the people who brought you to the app. Newer platforms (fediverse, bsky, tiktok - weird to put them in the same category but hear me out) are about following people you generally donāt know IRL. Nobody is filling the IRL connection āplatformā void, which tells you something - there must not be money in it. They canāt sell you things that way. I am more active in group chats, but I miss being able to close-friends broadcast the most unhinged bumper sticker Iāve ever seen.
The big benefit for me, as a very early adopter (I made me FB account 20 years ago as soon as I got a college email address) was that I started to see my real life as a thing to post or curate. It was weird and gross. It was affecting how I planned my days and which friends I hung out with as of a few years ago. I donāt miss that. But my brain is still wired to have a hard time with the internet as a whole.
I stopped using parasocial media because it hadnāt been fun for a long time, and being there wasnāt serving me. If being here ceased to be fun or ceased to serve me, I would not hesitate to leave. Iāve never had any qualms about dropping out of anything.
My wife has pretty much stopped using Facebook because she never sees updates from her family and friends, just ads and bullshit. It no longer serves her, either, but she isnāt ready to outright nuke her account (which is her decision) whereas I had nuked my account over a decade ago and never looked back.
Whether getting away from parasocial would somehow āfixā my brain was beside the point; how was I to know if it had been broken by parasocial media in the first place? I figure my brain was broken by public education and life under capitalism long before social media became what it is today.
For me, itās all about cost and benefit: am I getting at least as much out of being there as Iām giving? If not, Iām out. Itās not like not being there cuts me off from my friends, since Iāve never had any to lose.