It can definitely feel overwhelming. Are you able to run a virtual machine locally? One of the best things you can do to learn is play around on a system that’s not connected to the internet.
Without getting too specific about individual commands, I think the main things that people commonly need to know to self-host are:
Connecting and navigating
How do you access a remote server? How do you figure out where you are on the filesystem? How do you move around the filesystem?
File management
How do you create and delete files? How do you edit a file from the terminal? How do you download a file from the terminal? How do you unzip a file or create a zip file? How do you find a file? How do you copy a file to/from a remote system?
Process management
How do you know what programs are running? How do you stop, start, or restart a program? How do you stop a program gracefully or kill it if it’s unresponsive? What’s the difference? What’s the difference between an application and a service? How do you manage a service? How do you find and change the configuration of a program or service?
Basic networking
What’s an interface? What’s a port? How do you configure an application or service to listen on a port? What’s the difference between a privileged port and an unprivileged port? What’s an IP address? A hostname? A fully-qualified domain name (FQDN)? A URL? How are they related?
Securing
What’s a firewall? How does it work? How do you make sure that you’re only allowing access to the things you intend? How do you identify suspicious traffic? How will you respond to it (ignore it, block it, rate limit it)? What are file and directory permissions? How do you define them? How do you prevent other users from redefining them?
Auditing
Where are the system logs? Where are application logs? How can you learn where an application writes its logs? How do you monitor logs in real-time? How do you search them for single events? How do you search for patterns? How do you interpret what they say?
I probably just made another overwhelming list, but please don’t be put off by it. You don’t have to know all this to get started self-hosting, but if you do end up self-hosting for a while, then you’ll need to do all of these things at some point.
But if you have a local VM that you can set up a hobby project on, that can be a great way to learn. You’ll end up needing to do most of this stuff as part of that project. It feels overwhelming when it’s presented like I just did. But if you start building something, then you’ll just learn each of these things naturally at the moment when you need to know it. That makes it less overwhelming and I find things stick better when I learn them that way.