I started a mental health clique called: menhera a while ago and still don’t have any members. Any advice on how to get a clique out there? I tried tumblr and submitting to a clique directory but not much luck. Any advice would be very appreciated. Thanks.
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Did you post about it on your profile page on neocities? If you already did that, do it again! You can try posting on r/neocities on Reddit. Sometimes cliques go off like crazy and sometimes they languish and I can’t figure out the rhyme or reason of it!
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While mental health isn’t something I have any desire to talk about on my blog*, I have to say that the design on your page is really cool as is the design of the pill bottle. Best of luck!
*Big ups to the folks who do want to talk about i though, just clarifying its a personal thing not a subject thing lol
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Well I made another clique and still no members. I wonder if people just don’t want to associate with me? Or is that just the RSD talking? Maybe my cliques are too niche. Oh well. It was fun to make them I guess, just feels a little lonely out here.
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I think they’re cool! Neither resonate with my personal interests but looking into both of them sent me into cool rabbit holes and I learned a lot. I wonder if this will connect with some of the folks active in our clothes/fashion thread
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It might help to add them to a directory like this one?
I’m glad you posted about this again.
I actually drafted a response to this in January and then got caught up in self doubt about whether I should actually reply. In case helpful, here it is:
Hello, I hope it’s okay to offer some thoughts here.
I had never heard of menhera but I’ve spent a little time exploring some articles around it, including the following (no idea if these are good sources, but they did give me a better idea of the sort of space you’re describing):
Menhera - When Yami Kawaii Meets Mental Health Awareness │Yokogao Magazine
Menhera Fashion is Opening Conversations Around Mental Health
As someone who is passionate about mental health awareness and empowerment, I think this is a really cool idea for a clique - particularly reclaiming this label as something positive - and I hope you are able to grow it.
I appreciate I’m likely not the target audience so my questions are naive (and you can absolutely ignore them), but having looked at your page, it’s not immediately clear to me if this is a clique for:
- The menhera fashion subculture or mental wellbeing more broadly
- Only people who identify as women
- People with a mental illness diagnosis or anyone with mental health struggles
The pill bottles are SO cute - I love the variety of ribbons - but I’d suggest that not everyone might manage the symptoms of poor mental health with medication, or if they do, they might not feel comfortable sharing this and tying it to their identity. Maybe some alternative icons might help more people, unless the pill bottles are a core part of the menhera subculture. I saw there were other motifs like plasters (band-aids) too though.
I think it’s understandable that you might not necessarily immediately attract a large community of people willing to participate. Mental health can be a very personal experience that not everyone is necessarily comfortable openly attaching to their identity. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it - I’m not saying that AT ALL - just that it can be quite a nuanced experience for the individual. However, that doesn’t mean your clique shouldn’t exist!
From time to time I write about my own mental health struggles, including topics that I put a content warning on, and I’m comfortable sharing those. Again, I don’t think I’m the intended audience here, but if I was, I’d personally be a bit wary of what joining this clique might mean without more reassuring language. For example, things like:
- only sharing as much information as you’re comfortable sharing (you say ‘share as much as you like’ but I’d personally feel more comfortable with this being a bit more explicit that sharing at all is discretionary)
- suggestions of things to consider before deciding how forthcoming you want to be (i.e. are you comfortable listing information that family or employers might see)
- what the expected etiquette is of members of this clique, such as how they might reference each others’ websites, respect each others’ privacy, promote personal safety, and recognise individual experience.
- suggested content warnings if their website also features writing or artworks about their experiences
- what members can expect of the clique itself. I know a clique can be more casual than a web-ring, but stating I’m a part of one signposts that I align with its philosophy (and rightly so) but I don’t have any control over what that means long term. This isn’t necessarily problematic with cliques around interests and hobbies, but could be more challenging for areas such as disability and mental health. How do I know that joining such a clique won’t lead to associations or activities that I don’t align with, particularly on such a personal topic? (i.e. what do I need to know upfront to decide if it’s for me), What does reclaiming the menhera label mean in practice? (Is it just the showing my interest/support by being a member of the clique, or are there expectations that my website have certain types of content/updates?), if I add myself to the members directory, how do I know this will be treated with care. Just some light reassurance would help
- one of the examples includes ADHD. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I don’t think everyone would consider ADHD a mental health condition. I think in the UK it’s considered a neurodevelopment condition primarily, but is grouped with mental health services. To be clear, I’m not suggesting any policing of terminology, but maybe some reassurance that people can use whatever terminology resonates with them, and that people should expect and respect those differences of opinion
- If this is a clique for anyone who aligns with the theme, not just those with a mental health diagnosis, explicit ‘all experiences are valid’ messaging
- examples of websites or writing typical of people who might be interested in joining this clique (assuming they’re happy to be featured)
- signposting of mental health resources for people who are struggling themselves
Anyway, these are just some immediate thoughts. Feel free to disregard entirely if I’ve completely missed the mark of what you’re trying to do here!
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i think you may just need to adjust your expectations somewhat!
the website hobby is small to start off with, and each subcategory is smaller yet: the number of people within the hobby interested in joining cliques and webrings; the number of people who will have heard of your clique in particular; the number of people who have heard of it and are interested in menhera or kirai kei; the number of people interested in it who have the follow-through to actually sign up is the smallest. even the best-case scenario absolute maximum number of members is quite low, relatively speaking.
on top of that, you only made the clique recently; things take time. basically nothing has instant feedback or results in this region of the internet! people do not see things as soon as they are created. something being new means that fewer people will have had an opportunity to look at it; a long delay in response time and very very low rate of direct interaction is normal and to be expected. even the absolute most popular micromicrocelebs on the hobby web like melon, who has given speeches and interviews and gallery shows, have quite low rates of direct engagement with projects.
the gothic lolita fanlisting has 536 members and has existed since at least 2009. aromatic is a text clique with about 185 members, and it’s been around since like 2019. that’s about 2 members per month of existence for both, and those are both particularly successful! much more common would be something like the hamilton fanlisting (23 members since 2018) or the armoury (3 members in 2 years).
the way to get members is to stick the clique in some directories so people can find it and then wait a couple years! it’s not about the topic or you as a person, it’s just how things are.
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I thought my description of it on my site was sufficient and probably more accurate than any article conflating it with yamikawaii. I’ve been into menhera since 16. The clique is for anyone who wishes to join I don’t think it warrants a hundred . . . and forgive my tone, preachy and gatekeepy disclaimers like some things in the smallweb do. I intentionally kept it open ended. I think that’s more inclusive, personally.
Also ADHD is in the DSM-V, ends in “disorder”, and if you personally don’t wanna list it, that’s up to you. I was diagnosed by a psych doctor . . . because it’s a psych illness. There’s no shame in it being an illness. It literally inhibits my ability to function.
I talk about women because that’s 99% of menhera especially in Japan, but anyone can join. Which I think I wrote? I don’t remember–if not I will specify that.
Menhera is like punk, the fashion is a part of the subculture. They are not divorced from each other and it’d be weird to do so. You don’t have to dress it to be part of the subculture, but if you only wear the fashion and don’t partake in the actual culture (punk: rebellion against established power structures and shock performance through rock music) (menhera: reclaiming mental illness via kawaii motifs and being open about mental illness, especially depression), you aren’t actually part of the subculture . . . You just wear some clothes sometimes.
The fashion is an extension of the subculture, if that makes sense. Think of it like, wearing lederhosen doesn’t make you German, you have to actually speak the language and abide by their cultural ideals in order to be German. Wearing lederhosen divorced from the culture itself just makes you look like someone on Halloween out of season.
This is what I figured once I got past my emotions. I really do think it might be my RSD that makes me so silly about the low member rates. But hey, I got one member just recently, so that made me really happy!
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Hey, I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I apologise if I came across as preachy or trying to redefine something that isn’t mine to define. That was not my intention at all.
You’re absolutely right that I’m coming at this outside the subculture, and I should have been more mindful of that, rather than offering such a lengthy(!!) response of my own opinions.
I genuinely do hope you see more interest in the clique.
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I hope I didn’t seem too combative. I know I can be. I try my best not to though–it’s a learned behavior, and not a good one. So, thank you for being understanding.
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