My contribution to November 2024 of the IndieWeb Carnival:
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Letās start the new month with a blogpost: Personal philosophy ā Manu
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The Weekly Wrap Up has been posted! Going through old letters and family photos, getting in touch with family members, watched an excellent animated series and still making my way through back issues of Clarkesworld magazine. Oh, and of course, a few cool links to start things off!
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being able to remember you were once happy is sometimes just as important as being happy
https://blog.hypertext.city/2024/12/03/lost-in-the-supermarket/
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Iām sure @starbreaker will appreciate me sharing my love for Substack: On blogging, substacking (?), and owning digital real estate ā Manu
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Iām tempted to weigh in on Schlubstack on my own site again because I think there are points to be made that you and Alan Jacobs hadnāt mentioned:
- Substack is the Medium of newsletters.
- Substack is also a Nazi bar that not only permits, but monetizes and profits from, newsletters promoting white supremacy and scientific racism.
- There are newsletter providers that offer better pricing and donāt tolerate Nazis, like Buttondown.
And Freddie de Boer doesnāt seem to get that you can have your own website and still be on Substack if you donāt mind sharing a platform with the likes of Richard Hanania. You could post on your own website and mirror on Substack with a permalink to the original. You know, that POSSE thing?
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So this is a little heated from what I usually do, but I feel like I needed to get this out. I donāt really talk about my gender identity often, or my experiences with gender-fluidity, but I feel like I needed some release to say what I felt like needed to be said in a more concise manner. Think of it as a coping mechanism.
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Iām a 40+ year old cis-gendered dude. I donāt have anything profound to share with you about your journey, but I wanted to shout from the roof tops that gender conformity is dull, boring, and a lie we teach ourselves to believe so that weāre more dull and boring than weād be in a less constrictive society. Thereās more I could ramble about, but I donāt want to detract from your writing. I hope more folks read what you have to say about yourself, and that you get out these words rather than ever feel the need to keep them bottled up.
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iām going through my own understanding of who i am and i just wanted to say i hope we both find happiness within ourselves, and are able to express ourselves in a way that makes us truly happy
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Thank you, that did genuinely cheer me up at least a bit. It really is dull and boring, a lot of it is also very outdated imo. I appreciate the respect and support, but Iād also like to know what you could have rambled about more in a blog post in the future? You donāt have to if you donāt really feel like it though.
Thank you, I really hope you find happiness too in your journey. If you have any thoughts about your own experiences, please do share. I am interested in how others perceive this topic with their own two cents.
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this is something iād certainly be happy to blog about. no promises on when but me being me i know this is something i will visit in a blog post regardless
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Itās OK. Everything you feel about your gender is valid. And if you see yourself as a man, then you are a man and anything you do is something a man does.
These are sentiments I expressed in May 2023 in a rant called My Manhood, My Property, My Way, along with the following:
I did not volunteer for maleness.
I was conscripted.
Just as I was thrown into existence without my consent I was, as the kids say, āassigned male at birthā. I am both āAMABā and also, amusingly enough, āACABā (assigned Catholic at birth) even though the latter acronym originally meant āall cops are bastardsā. The fun part is that itās especially true of those who would police other peopleās gender expression.
What gender vigilantes donāt understand is that once maleness was imposed upon me it became my property to do with as I please. I am not obligated to conform to any other maleās ideal of maleness. Nor am I obliged to conform to any femaleās notion of what it means to be male, whether that female is Kay Hymowitz or Valerie Solanas.
You are no more obligated to conform to anybodyās notion of what it means to be a man or male than I am. Your life is your own, and your gender is your property. How you wear the mask is your decision alone.
Incidentally, I took the survey you mentioned in your post and got the following scores:
| Gender | Score |
|---|---|
| Masculinity | 109 |
| Femininity | 116 |
It seems I lean toward androgyny myself, so perhaps Iām a masc-presenting enby.
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Holy shit, you really put in a lot of detailed thoughts that I wasnāt able to write out. I really appreciate this, and it really made me gave me another perspective to think about. Iām wondering if in the future I could make an extension to my original blog post at some point, since peopleās responses are giving me a lot to consider.
Thank you so much for your support and affirmation. It means a lot to me. Being told that my gender is my property and a mask that I could change at any time, is giving me euphoria
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One of my uncles actually teaches philosophy; I merely dabble in it and routinely overthink things, but Iām glad if Iāve helped you thereby.
Of course you can. Itās your website, just like itās your gender; you can do as you please with both, and tell anybody who objects to dial 1-800-B-DAMNED. My cat is ready to dismiss them.
Either write a follow-up entry, or extend this one; itās your choice.
Iām glad it helps. Maybe these sentiments will help, too:
The church, the state, corporations, communities, and families have no inherent rights. They are made of individuals, and exist to serve individuals. They are mass hallucations that would dissipate should we cease to tolerate their continued existence.
Only individual human beings have rights. These rights are not God-given. They do not exist by legislative fiat. They cannot be granted or taken away. They can only be honored or violated. We possess them by virtue of our humanity. Without them, we cannot be human.
- Your life should be yours alone to live.
- Your body should be your property alone.
- Your mind should be yours alone to develop and use as you see fit.
- Your identity should be yours alone to create.
- Your name should be whatever you say it is.
- The meaning and purpose of your life should be yours alone to determine.
Your rights should not be subject to debate or majority vote. You should be the captain of your own soul. You should not be obliged to suffer any person or entity to stand as admiral over you.
You should be a sovereign individual; any attempt to subjugate you is an act of war upon you. You have every right to resist oppression by any means you deem necessary.
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Interesting test, I got
| Gender | Score |
|---|---|
| Masculinity | 93 |
| Femininity | 97 |
Apparently I fall into the undifferentiated camp which in my world is also called the i don't give a shit camp because people can be whatever they want to be and whatever makes them happy as long as theyāre not bothering someone else.
@cosy_diner to me youāre first and foremost a fellow human being and thatās personalyl all I care about. I want you to be happy and want you to feel great about yourself and I donāt personally care about the details. If something makes you feel better and doesnāt harm anyone else thatās fucking great and Iāll support that.
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I was curious, soā¦
| Masculinity | 88 |
|---|---|
| Femininity | 108 |
This actually doesnāt surprise me.
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| Masculinity | 88 |
|---|---|
| Femininity | 121 |
i donāt really hold much faith in online quizzes. especially when the questions are as pointed as these are, but everyone else was doing it
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These are the results from the Open Sex-Role Inventory.
The OSRI measures two scales. Scores are adjusted so the average is 100.
Masculinity
76
Femininity
112
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Masculinity: 97
Femininity: 90
Iām a little disappointed by these results, but Iām struggling to articulate why. I was hoping for more femininity, though.
Bottom line: being a human is strange and confusing. Neither of these is bad, though.
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The good news is that āmasculinityā and āfemininityā are just words invented and defined by people. Youāre you, Iām me, and on and on. Being yourself, whatever that entails, is far more important that worrying about labels.
Note: Declarations are often affirmations. I need this advice as much as anyone else might.
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