A thought
And some meta
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Ainât that the truth. And youâre very on point with runners making it part of their identity. Iâm very much prone to that. Which is why Iâm glad I spent some time exploring other interests. Helps me with perspective and makes me less likely to forget that there are all these other things out there that are pretty, frickinâ awesome to immerse yourself in.
Visited your site, and was nodding along when reading You realize this sucks for everyone else too, right? Came across that NYT article the other day, and had to take a couple of breaths to fight the urge to post a hottake. Reading your measured take reminded me just how glad I am that Iâm happily married and have stepped away from social media.
Tsunamis and Artfight and Cookbooks, Oh My!
Long overdue post from me!
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Thank youâit means a lot to hear Iâm not the only one who had the same reaction to that article. (There was a similar article in yesterdayâs NYT, too, but this time I fought the urge to rageclick 
). I think my take could problem have been a bit more measured but it is really exasperating to see a very popular and well-reputed newspaper spreading a negative, cynical message about men that I have been fighting for my entire life.
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This link doesnât work for me :(
Whoops! Fixed it! Sorry about that.
I decided to rave about some of my favorite aliens and linking it back to contemporary science and culture.
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This was fascinating! Iâm an avid science fiction fan, and Iâm always looking for weirder experiences out there. Iâll definitely be checking out the books and Youtubers you highlighted here!
It also reminds me just how much I need to get around to reading Blindsight. Iâve read the first of the Rifters trilogy, and it made me love Peter Watts. I follow his blog at the moment and the rest of his books have been on my to-read list forever.
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I had been sitting on this for a few days, before deciding that Iâd put it up, consequences be damned.
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Weird afternoon today, lol.
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Hey, you put into words all the various frustrations I also see as an off the market man, with great sympathy for my single friends.
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I just read your post about aliens, @CaffeineAndLasers. Good stuff!
Probably a mistake on my part, though, because while I have a copy of Armored Core VI I didnât get far enough to know about Ayre, but no biggie. A plot point out of context isnât a huge deal, because I still havenât see the lead-up to it.
Oh shit thatâs me lol! Thank you for writing this. Your take is a lot more thorough than mine.
I have also found the job market analogy to be an effective way to help straight women understand that the dating market also sucks for men, just in different ways. But I have also grown wary of deploying even this sort of metaphor because it can reinforce the âmen vs. womenâ culture war aspect of the debate and play into pre-existing cynicism about the need to strategize or game the market.
I am trying to find common ground in the underlying forcesâperfectionism, anxiety, toxic positivity, whatever you want to call itâthat seem to be stress factors on both sides. IMO the asymmetry we see in the dating world reflects gendered ways of dealing with these stress factors, rather first-order gender characteristics.
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Yeah, I didnât want to tag you here because I wasnât sure how my post would play to this crowd or how youâd feel about me using your post as a springboard, but this is something Iâve thought about on and off for a long time. I was thinking of dating as a job search back in the 1990s when I was just a cynical Xennial (or late GenX) teenager.
Those are fair points, but Iâve found that if I worry overmuch about what sort of meaning people might find in my words and how that meaning might diverge from the meaning I intend to convey, I might not write anything at all.
I find the job search metaphor useful precisely because it isnât just men who have a hard time finding decent jobs nowadays. Hell, if I was single today Iâd probably have a marginally better chance of finding a forty-something woman whose company I enjoy than I would a job that pays a decent salary and doesnât demand the sort of servile devotion expected of a high-ranking Scientologist.
Of course, I donât expect people wrapped in their own pain to empathize with that of others. They want validation for their own suffering, and generally donât care about anybody elseâs. But thatâs what friends are for, and I am nobodyâs friend.
Iâm not sure itâs a matter of asymmetry. Like I said, everybody gets a raw deal when it comes to dating. Itâs just a different raw deal depending on gender. What Iâm seeing, and what I saw back in the late 1990s and early 2000s, is that the old protocols donât work any longer. They probably didnât work all that well for most people before then, either, but there wasnât much anybody could do about it.
Besides, this isnât my field of expertise. Even if my understanding of the problem is on the money, I have no idea how to fix it. Going back to the old ways wonât work, because they didnât work for most people. It wonât happen no matter how much crybullying right-wingers do. The world has moved on, and people have to move on with it.
If I was going to suggest anything, itâs that we need more âmain character syndromeâ, not less. We need more people exercising agency in their own lives, taking the leading role in the stories of their own lives, and not settling for being supporting characters in everybody elseâs lives. Men should still approach women they find attractive, and be honest about their desires and intentions. However, women should also approach men they find attractive, and be honest about their desires and intentions. Nobody should be passively waiting to select from a pool of suitors whose only common quality was that they had the nerve to make the first move. Everybody needs to cultivate patience and learn to take rejection graciously. People need to go for what they want, instead of hoping that dating works like the fabled cat distribution system.
Like I said, I wasnât looking when I met my wife, but counting on that sort of luck or serendipity isnât going to work for most people. It shouldnât have worked for me, to be honest.
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Ah, oh well. If you know FromSoft you know that isnât the only tragic twist the story has up its sleeve
(I think ACVI is one of the very few games where it is really worth playing through NG+ and NG++ to get the full story)
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(deltarune chapter 3 spoilers!)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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What a day! I canât believe you had to move a car that was on your drive or face having it towed 
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realest post, sans was nothing on the knight LOL. and especially like you said, pacifist run and not investing in good fighting gear because you have no reason to, but if you want that shiny goodie from finishing the fight⌠
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Right? It was so weird and I feel like it was possibly an overstep by the workers. But, I couldnât risk my roommateâs car being towed either, so it is what it is I guess.