This topic is interesting as Discord covers several use cases and they may/may not be used by various communities.
Alternatives would depend on what use cases you want to cover.
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I wondered about that as well. I found Jitsi pretty low-friction if you’re using PCs / laptops, so if your main hub is a text-chat, putting the link to the Jitsi room in the room description and use both side-by-side still seemed rather usable to me. 
I’m trying out Stoat. However, the biggest “feature” that Discord has that will be impossible to replicate is the actual people on it; I won’t be able to convince the communities that are important to me to move to something else.
So… I’m just going to branch out into new communities myself, and maybe slowly convince others to join me.
While I have an XMPP client/account, I don’t know anyone who uses it.
Stoat looks very much like Discord, and I mentioned it above.
Forums are attractive, that’s why I’m here!
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The fact that Stoat isn’t really federated despite being self-hostable makes me question the long-term validity of it a lot.
My personal prefrence is an IRC server that supports images (as those do exist!) for public group chat needs. I personally had a good time using Jitsi despite it needing some more updates, so I can see communities using it alongside IRC.
For small groups and DMs, I’d probably recommend Signal. IRC isn’t exactly seccure, so while it’s good for goofing off in a decidedly public space, anything more private should be locked down.
And then large communities that could make the jump to a forum or even Dreamwidth communities should just do that. Large group chats have their uses! But not everything needs to be a group chat.
And for the love of god more Discord servers dedicated to the support for one program should just make docs or a github/lab/tea/etc. page or something because group chats are NOT the format for that.
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I’ve been keeping a list of Discord clones, here’s what I have so far:
- root https://www.rootapp.com/
- stoat https://stoat.chat/
- fluxer https://fluxer.app/
- fermi https://fermi.chat/
- tailchat https://tailchat.msgbyte.com/
- nermity https://nerimity.com/
- roomy https://a.roomy.space/
- sharkord https://sharkord.com/
- osmium https://osmium.chat/
- echoed https://echoed.gg/
- valour https://valour.gg/
- steam chat New friends list, voice, and chat features
- chatterbox (wip, not usable yet) Chatterbox: Federated Chat that Doesn't Suck - Adam Nelson
- squirrel chat (wip, not usable yet) https://squirrel.chat/
- guilded (rip, not usable anymore) https://www.guilded.gg/
Not sure I really have trust for any of them. Root for example has gotten $9 million in funding which I feel like the issues with Discord mostly revolve around it’s financial situation so jumping onto a startup of dubious value seems like a bad idea. Plus if you’re leaving Discord due to adult content restrictions, Root restricts it completely. I heard from someone who tried it that even just navigating around the app was extremely slow- may just be due to a massive amount of people jumping on to try it right now but it is a little scary to hear about that.
Stoat is the most well known one (formerly Revolt) but it doesn’t feel too trustworthy. They seem to over-market in a way that rubs me the wrong way. Someone mentioned the oddity of them being open source but centralized and that’s just one example.
Fluxer is the one I’m hearing the most about lately, the author has a big blog post about the history behind it: How I built Fluxer, a Discord-like chat app - big things of note: I believe the author is obsessed with Discord to a degree you can respect out of someone who’s making a discord clone, but also admits to relying on LLM technology here- so that may be a trade-off for people. (Personally I’d prefer not to use software made that way, but I’m also aware that it’s very common in the industry now so it’s likely that’s already how parts of Discord are done already)
The rest I haven’t done much of a deep dive into. Some notable ones is tailchat seems to be the only one that’s originally non-English (but English is the default language on the site) however it also promotes an AI assistant built into it so it’s a little less interesting.
Matrix isn’t so much a Discord clone but you see it brought up a lot when people talk about open source chat solutions- I don’t think it’s viable. It’s not just too complicated but it feels very unstable. It seems like it’d be very complicated to host yourself and I worry because it’s the big open source project in this company/“community” style chat app space that it’s sucking the air out of the room for anything else.
So I don’t think there’s really a good alternative for Discord that checks all the boxes- but I don’t think that’s a bad thing either.
Really feels like Discord tries to solve too many problems at once and the convenience of it all has gotten too much of the internet locked inside it- so even if people do want to get out of it it’s an extremely uphill battle. Would love to see instead of trying to replace Discord with the same kind of thing instead seeing all kinds of different approaches- more websites, more wikis/public knowledge bases, more forums, more voice chat servers like Mumble, more end to end encrypted chats for direct messaging (remember when they used to be called private messages?), more IRC, more keeping contact lists not tied to specific chat platforms, more RSS, hell I’d even take more email lists.
And with added interest in that stuff maybe improvements to the technology- so much of it feels trapped in the past in a way we can certainly do better for.
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THIS! And the rest of the paragraph I’ve ommited to respect space. Not only is Discord too many things to replace, but honestly… it’s so many things that it doesn’t do some of those things very well. See how some people try to use it in place of a community wiki/github comments/troubleshooting forum/things of that nature. Even with threads it gets very messy in large servers.
I could go on with examples but I think my point is made. Not only is it better for people to have these tools spread out, but it makes each individual tool better.
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Tried at least IRC, XMPP, Matrix, and Stoat as mosr of the replies mentioned.
IRC I wouldn’t mind giving another go as I had used IRCisFun for that. I try to keep it active by just logging into my Thunderbird app on PC. Never could get it working well on a decent mobile app or I’ve been used to getting it working easily that softened my patience…
Matrix tried to be similar to Discord but I personally couldn’t get acquainted enough with it to use daily. Between some of the servers I was in being plagued by non-helpful bots (ie those that help with roles and moderation) & overhearing that nefarious people use it for bad things, I feel there’s less of a personal incentive to go back.
I would say the same for XMPP but I also remember not using it too much and can’t give a concise opinion on it. Edit: Adding to say that I used it so little due to how hard it was to get an app that didn’t require a purchase, but wouldn’t mind since I have access to something that would help via rewards.
Which leaves Stoat (formerly Revolt); the web version works very well and easy to readjust to as a former Discord user. The mobile app does have some issues to iron out. Looking for new servers and sometimes even changing parts of your profile either work or they don’t. I know my Internet connection is flaky most days, but not to this degree…
I have had a LINE account but hardly used it outside of Disney Tsum Tsum and just morbid curiosity.
This can be changed! 
https://discourse.32bit.cafe/t/share-your-xmpp-contact-details/2894
(Only half-kidding, I know what you mean!)
I am daily driving and self-hosting Matrix since 2022, and I would say it is a solid option. Even though you need to learn about verifying your sessions, saving keys and things like that. Which is pretty frustrating for new comers, but doable. I would highly recommend this option.
I personally prefer any client that is not Element, becasue I just don’t like it. I like clients that have stickers. Element has them too but they are locked down and you can’t really create your own like on Nheko. On my computers I use Nheko and on mobile FluffyChat. I would say they are pretty good choices.
I would also recommend XMPP. I like that option too, but not too many people use it. If you want to look into that, I would recommend Gajim and Dino for desktop. And Cheogram for Android.
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I started to look into XMPP which has great clients like Gajim, but recently I stumbled across Movim because that is what Disroot is using. The main maintainer recently started implementing Discord features, documented in its latest blog post and it looks very promising!
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So it does! Maybe this is the year I get back onto Movim and stay. Maybe if we can get a few people together.