I’ve been thinking a lot about these kinds of issues, especially since reading the replies within the If you’ve signed up for Bluesky, you’ve signed up for offloadable moderation thread. Handling what the author talks about within this article (and the related one that she linked to) can be tough no matter how you approach it.
I appreciate everyone’s insights into the matter though. It actually highlights the strength of having differing views while still being respectful in sharing them. That sort of balance can be tricky to achieve. Sometimes you have to separate yourself from things that are toxic for the sake of your own safety and sanity. There is no shame in that. Yet at the same time, shutting something out doesn’t necessarily make it go away. We still have to share the world with people who might be indifferent to our struggles, want to take advantage of us, hate us for whatever reason, etc. Those are things that we cannot control directly, but we can control our response to them. And therein lies the greatest opportunity for lasting change in my opinion.
I feel that a lot of issues exist/persist because their very existence is never really addressed, or if it is, it is done in a superficial and dismissive way. It requires incredible amounts of self-reflection and compassion sustained over a long period of time to effect constructive changes sometimes…
Content/Trigger Warning: I am going to describe quite a few takes that might seem 'hot' on their surface. I am not enumerating my personal beliefs or experiences here, but simply trying to give insight into a wider social context with an eye towards mutual peace and understanding. While I will try to be tasteful, it will touch upon subjects that may be uncomfortable. It might also be completely misunderstood, but I am willing to take that risk to get important points across. Please feel free to skip it if you would rather focus on something else. Resources/references throughout, summary at the end.
When one is excluded or rejected from most social interactions or public forums for whatever reason, they often end up on the outskirts where “anything goes”…and I’m not just talking about flouting “terms of service” or “moderation” online, but also “laws” offline. Is it really any surprise that places that hold fast to “the free speech fallacy” end up filled with the stuff that no other place will allow? Things that are repressed eventually bubble up to the surface whether we like it or not.
Example #1: If you get kicked out of enough “bars” for having an “unpopular” opinion or not “fitting in” for some reason, you may eventually end up in a “Nazi bar”. The thought process behind the adoption of that view, whether conscious or not, could be spite: “Fine, if you keep telling me that’s what I am, then that’s what I am!” Many people simply want some semblance of community, even if it means being united with others through a shared hatred. The extremism ratchets up when combined with other factors…One of those factors is that others who aren’t that deep into such extremes do not know how to effectively engage with it. It naturally leads to the formation of “echo chambers” as a result. That is understandable. If someone is constantly blaming you for the problems of society and saying how much that they hate you, why would you try to converse with them? But ironically enough, for some people, the Internet can also act as a kind of “safe space” to explore it and to heal. Genuine conversations with a diversity of viewpoints, both online and off, can help bring about balance…If we split things into competing factions and preclude any chance at dialogue (honest dialogue, not “trolling”), then we create the conditions ripe for war…
A “culture war” has its own “weapons” and “radicalization pipelines” that reflect (and sometimes lead to) recruitment into other types of extreme groups in real life (e.g.: militias, street gangs, etc.). And an overly simplistic “political compass” will not help one to navigate all of it, especially when people are pigeonholed into mutually exclusive categories like “progressive”/“far left”/“marxist socialism” vs. “conservative”/“alt-right”/“fascist capitalism” or some other dichotomy. Nuance and humanity have “gone out of the window”. Instead of people, all that is left are imaginary “adversaries” whom one blames for their personal problems.
A bunch of distorted concepts and one-sided stories are mixed into it as well (e.g.: the invention of “race” to justify the idea of “slavery” while simultaneously erasing the full history of unpleasant events like the Trail of Tears, the Tulsa massacre, the existence and activities of COINTELPRO, and so on…). Things can seem convincing when they look like “science”, so even the “educated” are vulnerable. When personal motivations are factored into one’s view of historical events, then things start to look a lot more complex and messy than a simple “black-and-white” narrative of “good” versus “evil”.
…Of course, dehumanizing and abusing others cannot be justified by any belief system whatsoever, but all of these sorts of things (e.g.: historical and cultural contexts) are not necessarily left behind when interacting online. And further, being “terminally online” is not always a healthy way of obtaining socialization. However, that is the function that it serves for many people, particularly the youth of the past 3-4 generations. All over the world, society itself is so fragmented and sick that most people are missing the useful ancestral wisdom, healthy rites of passage, and peaceful support networks that are important for anyone to become a well-adjusted adult.
Example #2: Many families are broken, and fatherless or motherless. When young men don’t have things like a potentially constructive Mythopoetic Men’s Movement to help offset that, you end up with potentially destructive Pick-Up Artist (PUA) lairs filled with misogyny and toxic masculinity (e.g.: “machismo”, not in the sense of being self-reliant, but overbearingly arrogant and aggressive). Again, it can reach extremes to the point where it might lead people into pointing their frustrations outward, committing acts of sexual harassment, sexual abuse, or gender-motivated violence in a misguided attempt to escape the “social stigma” of “inceldom”, or to try to bring to light something that they feel is being ignored by leveraging a media that emphasizes violence. In some instances, those frustrations might be turned inward towards trying to change oneself entirely or committing suicide without the addition of murder. It connects to larger social issues about human rights which can impact fatherhood. That is how some families become broken to begin with and the destructive cycle repeats across generations…But all of that complexity is overlaid on top of what are very basic human fears that everyone of any sex or gender suffers from sometimes: lack of intimacy, loneliness, isolation, and not wanting to die alone. They are also problems that can appear no matter what type of family structure that we are born into.
When it comes to fundamental human needs, everyone is more alike than not. The labels (and the assumptions that underlie them) often mask or distort what is actually happening. Just because another person looks at something differently does not automatically mean that they believe the opposite and are antagonistic towards us. For example, all of this stands in perfect complement to the completely valid issues brought up by the Feminist Movement. To continue the above example: Racist and sexist stereotypes are pushed by search algorithms and are a reflection of a massive amount of adult content that leans heavily into the same stereotypes. In turn, that sort of dehumanization/objectification is often used to justify acts of violence). There is a history behind structures that are founded on inequality and common characteristics throughout the societies that have them.
How can we start to heal from all of the trauma and violence that keeps us from even approaching this nexus of subjects though? Again, it’s tough. But I think that these types of “difficult conversations” are worth having if we want the world to become a place where everyone truly is acknowledged and loved for the constructive qualities that they possess as individuals. And eventually, a society where everyone is integrated together in genuine harmony. We can only do that if we are willing to patiently listen to one another and share our experiences. As empathy increases, so does inclusion and understanding.
“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” - 1 Corinthians 13:12
TL;DR: To be clear, I am not suggesting that this community become a “recovering Nazi incel support group” or anything, and I think that it is fair to not want to engage with anyone who is actively hostile towards you. It may even be necessary in order to stay safe. Likewise, no matter how much we might care, we cannot change the destructive behaviors of people who refuse to take responsibility for themselves. However, I also think that expressing just a little bit of patience and compassion can help keep many people from going down that path to begin with. We sometimes take for granted how much kindness can change a person and that all people deserve dignity, even when they are unwilling to give it in return.
Pretty much all prejudices (whether we are talking about racism, sexism, ableism, ageism, or something else), are the same logical fallacy: assuming that the entirety of a person or group can be reduced to a specific, usually superficial, characteristic. This meaning is contained within the word “prejudice” itself, to “pre-judge” someone without getting to know them first.
The problem is compounded when people assume the intentions of others and use labels as an excuse to treat them as lesser. Those destructive interactions might then degrade into a cycle of constant back-and-forth, escalating from arguments, to fights and murders, to riots and wars as they grow in scale and intensity. They can also persist through time as people hold grudges and pass on their prejudices to their children. Let us transform those cycles by inheriting the most constructive qualities of our ancestors and working together within the present moment to make life wonderful for everyone, none excluded. That is a real, enduring Love. 
…It actually warms my heart that people here are focused on building bridges.